We’ve heard that a lot.
Since we started sharing our decision to leave the U.S., a common response goes something like this:
“Yes, things are really bad right now… but it’s just four more years. Things will get better again. This is just how American politics works.”
It’s a comforting thought.
It’s also a dangerous one.
The Boiling Frog
You’ve probably heard the metaphor — about how if you put a frog into boiling water, it’ll jump out. But if you put that frog in cool water and slowly turn up the heat, it won’t notice what’s happening until it’s too late.
I think about that image a lot lately. Because here in the U.S., the water is boiling.
And so many of us are still sitting in the pot.
Not because we’re naïve or lazy — far from it. We’re exhausted. We’re working multiple jobs. Caring for kids. Drowning in healthcare costs. Scrolling social media just to distract ourselves. Doing everything we can to keep going, even when it all feels too heavy to name.
But meanwhile, the foundations of democracy are crumbling around us.
What It Feels Like Inside the Collapse
There’s a quote I came across recently that put into words something I’ve been feeling in my bones. It’s from an article in The Intellectualist:
“Most people living through history don’t realize they are inside a moment of collapse… Because when you are inside the collapse, it feels like just another day.”
That’s what keeps me up at night. That we’re living inside something historic — not in a good way — and it feels normal.
That laws are being ignored. Rights are being stripped away. And the response is more shrugs than shouts.
We’ve normalized chaos, cruelty, and corruption. And I don’t want to stick around to see what comes next.
Why I Can’t Wait
I work at a prominent, international college. And not long ago, they sent an official warning to all international students and staff: don’t leave the country — we can’t guarantee you’ll be allowed back in.
Let that sink in.
When I read that message, it stopped me cold. And then it lit a fire under me.
Because this isn’t about hypotheticals anymore. This isn’t just about “bad vibes” or party politics. This is about freedom, safety, and the ability to live our lives with dignity.
We’re Not Waiting to Be Told It’s Too Late
I don’t know exactly what will happen in the next few years. I don’t know how long the U.S. can keep skating on the edge of collapse. Maybe we’re wrong. Maybe it won’t get worse (haha, update: It got worse).
But I’m not willing to risk my family’s safety, wellbeing, and future on maybe.
We’ve chosen to act. We’ve chosen Portugal.
And every day, as we check another item off our to-do list — visas, schools, housing — it’s not just logistics. It’s liberation. It’s a reminder that we’re building something new, together. And we’re doing it on our terms.
You’re Not Crazy If You Feel This Too
If any of this resonates with you — the fear, the unease, the grief, the guilt for wanting to leave — just know:
You’re not alone.
You’re not overreacting.
You’re not the only one who sees the water getting hotter.
We’re sharing our journey because maybe, just maybe, someone else out there needs permission to trust what they’re feeling.
To imagine a different kind of life.
And to take one brave step toward it.